Teachings Beyond or How Many Grasshoppers Chirp At Midnight

I find myself on occasion thinking of former teachers and sensei. Upon hearing of pleasant news for any, I feel joy for them. Upon hearing bad news, for all I'm outwardly blank. Those I didn't care for, though, I also feel an internal glee. Of course, the opposite being true for the others.

This thought lead me into thinking of my sensei Rev. Feng Huang (Bill Cady). The reason being, he passed away last year. And the two of us would go back and forth philosophically. Hopping from one topic to the next without ever losing focus of central issues.

Upon hearing of his death, I was initially very distraught. But that night, there was this smoke blowing past a full moon. I just sat and meditated and knew my way past the grief would be to honor his passing in a suitable way. As, I've always felt any religion to just make things too generic I would do so in a way that was suited to his spirit as I experienced it. If not just at least a bit to rationalize his death and find some greater meaning in it all.

Flash forward over a year later and I've done nothing. I have done neither that which I had initially thought to do nor that which I have come to realize. What he would have ultimately wanted and would honor his spirit is to just go do it. It? What it? I haven't mentioned it. It is just it. Anything you want it to be, it is. Do what you want. I know that's what I'll be doing.